You know those moments when you think that you would give anything to not have the constant worry and work of taking care of your children? Just a little break would be nice. Of course you love them, honestly, more than anything in this world, but it's hard.
I've had my "moment" and I'm over it (for now) - big time.
A week and a half ago I got my kids ready for school (by myself) for the first time since my accident. It was such a surreal feeling to realize that for the first time in months I was getting my own children ready and out the door. My own little children that I did everything for up until that day.
Last Saturday I washed Olivia's hair and realized it had been almost 12 weeks since I last washed her hair or helped Drew take a bath. This week I did the entire bedtime routine and put my own children to bed by myself 3 different nights.
I've been able to be left alone with them for weeks now, but it only included me sitting while they maintained life around me. Addison played mom for any real needs and Ansen or my Mom came soon so it was always temporary. Little by little I've been able to do more and more.
I miss being Mom.
I miss doing baths, I miss driving in the car singing with the kids, I miss working in the school classrooms so that I can see my girls during the day being their little selves at school, I miss Costco in the morings with just my Drew, I miss driving school carpool for all the energetic neighborhood kids, I miss brushing little teeth, I miss lunch dates with the girls, and I even miss making dinner.
A week and a half ago I got my kids ready for school (by myself) for the first time since my accident. It was such a surreal feeling to realize that for the first time in months I was getting my own children ready and out the door. My own little children that I did everything for up until that day.
Last Saturday I washed Olivia's hair and realized it had been almost 12 weeks since I last washed her hair or helped Drew take a bath. This week I did the entire bedtime routine and put my own children to bed by myself 3 different nights.
I've been able to be left alone with them for weeks now, but it only included me sitting while they maintained life around me. Addison played mom for any real needs and Ansen or my Mom came soon so it was always temporary. Little by little I've been able to do more and more.
I miss being Mom.
I miss doing baths, I miss driving in the car singing with the kids, I miss working in the school classrooms so that I can see my girls during the day being their little selves at school, I miss Costco in the morings with just my Drew, I miss driving school carpool for all the energetic neighborhood kids, I miss brushing little teeth, I miss lunch dates with the girls, and I even miss making dinner.
3 comments:
You are a Wonderful mom! My heart aches for you and I want you to be better so you can get to go and do those things that you want to do. Hang in there girl!
It was so wonderful seeing you able to move around tonight. We are so excited for your progress! Thanks for letting us just drop in on you unexpectedly. We had so much fun catching up! Ryan may not admit it, but he's been on cloud 9 since visiting with Ansen! Wish we got to see you guys more often!
It was so wonderful seeing you able to move around tonight. We are so excited for your progress! Thanks for letting us just drop in on you unexpectedly. We had so much fun catching up! Ryan may not admit it, but he's been on cloud 9 since visiting with Ansen! Wish we got to see you guys more often!
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