40 and Still Young (and bald-ish)

Ansen hit a big one this year . . . 40 years old.  

We didn't stray too far from the usual . . .
family party - with Ryan (34) this year

balloons to the office - where we decided NOT to run out of gas on the way home this year.
Dinner at Asian Star this year.

homemade German chocolate cake . . . that I have now mastered. #17years

but we also really, really tried to announce his 40th. 

We pre-ordered a bunch of black balloons to stake into the yard with Over the hill signs. 

But we don't quite have a "yard" and it was super windy.

I hurried and snapped a picture while these meager 10 balloons were still alive.

I had Ansen text me when he was leaving work, we waited 8 minutes and then staked them all in.
The yard dirt really ruined "the look" we were going for. 

There was 1 balloon left that Drew salvaged and brought inside.  Just in time for Ansen to get home.  #failhard (we honestly had that planned for 2 years)

Just for you

  . . . on your birthday.  

What grown man doesn't love a balloon bouquet delivered to his office on his birthday?!  

We've been doing it for years to Ansen. Yah, he's at home in these pictures, but that was after he drove home from his office with a bunch of balloons stuffed in the back of the car.  

This year was no different . . . I like to tell people that he begs for balloons every year. 

But this year I wanted to give him something special.  So after we dropped off the balloons, I ran out of gas on the way home on the freeway . . . 

And then let my car battery die.  

 Turns out it wasn't his favorite idea.  

Birthday Boy!

"Birthday season" for our family begins . . .

with Ansen!

(you can't see it . . . but the back side of the cake is the "diet side" with no frosting . . . a slight failure after all my years of success.  I think I got over confident.)

The kids and I made a shadow box of some of his memorbilia from his mission in New Zealand.   The plan is to hang it in Drew's room.  The kids and I had fun digging through all his mission stuff.  I helped them connect Ansen's stories they love to the pictures and the people . . . something we really needed to do and do more of. 

We went back to old traditions with balloons to the office and lunch on Friday.

Family birthday on his actual Sunday birthday.

Getting so close to 40 now . . .

Appreciation

I appreciate that Ansen appreciates nature. 

He sees the beauty in the earth that I don't see and he shares it with my lucky little children. 

I do think God created a beautiful earth, I just don't notice it as often as Ansen does.  I don't see the details like Ansen does.  I think he got a lot of that from his Mom and also his Dad.  They see beauty in the earth.

I appreciate that about them.

I hope he'll teach our children that . . . better than I can.

Ansen should get a medal

I think it's completely appropriate for Ansen to get a medal (and I am in no way being sarcastic).  It is no secret we are not project people. Well, I'm a craft/sewing project person but not a home project person. 

It only took him 3 months but he built (and finished) garage shelves for our ever expanding junk.

I have to remind him that it's not something I just thought up so he'd be miserable.  It's because we chose together to have children, we chose together (at some point) to buy a million bikes, we chose together to buy roller blades when we were engaged and to keep them for 14 years, we chose together to buy a house and therefore a lawn mower, we chose together to buy a trampoline and store the box for winter, and so in a round about way, we chose together to build shelves in the garage. 

The logic is there, right?

And there's not really a choice that necessitated shelves that I regret  . . . other then thinking we'd be "big" into camping and buying/storing all the gear and maybe storing roller blades for 14 years . . . you know . . . since we're going to get those out soon and take up roller blading again.

I love him

The day finally came . . . not our marriage, not the birth of a new child, not our first home purchase . . . but the day Ansen's Yankee stadium seats arrived!

He's wanted these ever since the moment they announced they were going to rebuild Yankee stadium.  Well, he saved and the moment they went on sale, it was a done deal. 

We had to swing by for a first look. 

They'll come home one of these days, we just didn't have a good place for them yet.  

And since we're there  . . . let's go on a tour of his office. 

It all started here . . . and I bought it.  I thought it was a good, classic, accountant looking, BUT personality sharing picture.  If I'd known what I had unleashed . . .

So he got some more Yankee pictures and some baseball figurines . . .

And then we shouldn't discriminate with sports so he threw in some basketball . . .

Oh and if we're doing sports, we should do music, right? . . . .

And some landscape photography . . .

Yes, holidays are covered too . . .

And who doesn't love visiting Dad with a good, available white board? . . . 

And I won't deny that I love a visit (and a new purse every time). 

But I know you're wondering . . . where are his diplomas?

Oh those, they're right here, "waiting for a good spot" . . . down there on the ground, behind stuff.

I'm happy he found a place to call his very own

and I love all that "Ansen" in one little office.

Ansen's Old - er (backing up)

Ansen turned a big 36 this year!

Closer to 40 than 30 . . .

(I think in general he pretty much hates "our" camera . . . can you tell?)

He wanted money towards a golf club (boring) . . . so we made it a little more exciting by repeating a little something I did for him in college for his birthday. 
Try to not notice the poor quality of the old film camera and the finger print on the lens that took me a couple of rolls of films to realize that was the problem. 

And trust me, but both times looked better in person than the camera was able to capture.

We put a $1 bill in each balloon and hung them from the ceiling.

I planned for an entire afternoon to get it done, but 1/2 way through realized me up and down a ladder was an extra terrible idea.  I hurt for 2 days afterwards . . . but hurt is sometimes good. 

We went to Outback and the new custard place on his actual birthday to celebrate.

I enlisted help this year with the frosting for Ansen's German chocolate cake.  Don't mind the spaghetti strap dress, the baret and Drew's football jersey . . . you have to ready for whatever the situation might require, right?

We then celebrated at my mom's house with the cake and more presents. 

Happy Birthday Ansen!

Late Thanksgivings

I don't want to be a big complainer, but this is hard.  This is really hard.  It's not harder and it's not bigger than what other people have had to endure, but it's hard. 

There are a few things that I have been most thankful for -

First, I am so confident that I have a Heavenly Father that knows exactly what is happening.  I know that in so many different (and very specific) ways he prepared me (us) for this accident.  There is no denying that he protected me (and my family) during the crash.  And because I can see this so clearly, I know that he will continue with me, with Ansen, to the end.  He will be here to comfort me in the difficult moments and push me through the hard things.  

I am grateful that I understand that we are given trials in life to help us to grow, to make us better people.  I'm grateful for a Heavenly Father that loves me enough to create an opportunity that will help me become more.  I'm not quite sure of all that I will learn yet, but I am already confident that this is changing the direction of the path I was on in life.  And apparently I need a good 3-4 months to sit and think about it.  I know me.  A week or two would not do the job . . . I'd be back to the same routine, same path.   But I'm hoping that a good couple of months will do the trick and I think Heavenly Father is too. 

Second, I am married to an incredible guy.  I have no idea what I would do without him . . . now and forever.  He is so kind, so patient, so attentive, so understanding and so sympathetic.  I know that I am the one that is hurting, but it is Ansen who is doing all the work.  He gets everyone moving in the morning, he takes care of all my morning needs, heads off to a long day at work, walks into the commotion of homework, dinner, bedtime and me, then keeps the house running with nightly chores, more work and falls into bed exhausted every night.  He is working hard.  He loves me and I really love him.  I needed to be reminded of that I think.

And last, I realized in the hospital that if I had to begin the recovery process knowing that we had to send one of our children back to live in Heavenly Father in that crash, it would have made the recovery feel impossible. Even knowing what I know about eternal life, it would have felt like too much. I'm selfish I guess, but I want those three sweet spirits here on earth with me. I want to share every moment with them and I am so thankful that Heavenly Father let me keep them here for now.  I haven't appreciated enough that I get to be a mother. So, so thankful.

"Needed" "Family Camera" and the "Business Trip"

Ansen "needed" the "family camera" for his "business trip" last week. 

Lots of " " . . . I know.  Be they were all necessary. 

First he "needed" the camera to take 100+ pictures of this . . .

Men, "specimens" of physical aptitude as he actually called one, in uniforms playing a game.

It was the Yankees, he was on the second row and they did plan the business trip around these games.

I call it the "family camera" because when we lived with my parents, Ansen bought a fishing pole and called it the "family fishing pole" and said that I was welcome to use whenever I wanted.  The joke has stuck and so when we got a camera as our combined Christmas present, I started calling it  the "family camera" with the same use of family as was used with the fishing pole.

And lastly, I call it a "business trip" because we went to the Yankees game, Jimmy Kimmel live, the Chargers football game and hung out with Stephen (one of his best college buddies) for the weekend.  He even told me all about the night he slept for 10 hours with the black out curtains in his hotel . . . oh and about how much he "missed" us. 

I joke, but honestly I'm not bitter. I'm really not. 

He works hard and I'm glad he gets a break every now and then.

Happy Father's Day!

Here we are, rolling a little late again . . .

Happy Father's Day to our best Daddy ever!  Olivia calls him "our best daddy" and even though he's our only daddy, he is our best daddy.  He's the Dad that makes the good breakfasts, the Dad that takes them to Trafalga instead of bed, the Dad that has the patience to listen to all the stories, and the Dad that mows the lawn every week with his little 2 year old side kick in tow. 

But most important, he's the Dad that toughs it all out with me!

And regardless of what these pictures may indicate . . . Drew really loves his Daddio too!  Everyone knows how hard it is to be a two year old.

Birthday Boy!

We grabbed Addison from school and stopped by our neighbor's house to blow up a bouquet of green birthday balloons for Ansen (P.S. I want my own helium tank for Mother's Day!) and headed up to meet Ansen for lunch.  

I love taking Ansen a big bunch of balloons to work - we've done for the last 6 years.  Of course the kids love it, but I love it too.  I love making a "scene" for Ansen and making him cart around a bundle of balloons (he has to bring them home to the kids).  

The little guy slept through the whole thing.  Dead asleep. Just as we were about to leave I snapped a few pictures and Drew went from DEAD asleep to cheeser smile when he heard the camera click (good boy).

Here he is lifting his head from a sound sleep . . .

and right into a smile . . . (which made them all laugh)

You gotta love the green and that "smile with his eyes" that Drew has tried to perfect.  

And that night we had dinner, cake and ice-cream, presents and the birthday game.

Drew couldn't wait for the ice-cream . . .

and his impatience made him too mad to pose for a picture . . . and Banna scrambled to get him a bite . . .
we'd hate to see him not get his way, you know.
(I still don't understand my camera in the least so we have some bad lighting here)

The girls came up with their own presents again this year.  Addison got a gift certificate to JCW's so she can go on a date with Dad.  And Olivia thought up a Yankees vinyl sticker (courtesy of Mom), but she wanted a BIG one!

and as a finale note . . . I am going to make this bold statement (again) . . .

 I have perfected the german chocolate cake!

After years of practice, I have to admit, I make a wicked good german chocolate cake (and frosting) from scratch!

Happy Birthday Ansen!

It's good to be reminded . . .

of how awesome my husband is. 

I already knew Ansen is an amazing guy.  I already knew that he has a great way with people . . . that's how he first caught my eye 13 1/2 years ago.   I was impressed over and over with his talent to be around people in the first years of our marriage.  He has a lot of talents, but this is one in particular I always loved, I always appreciated and it made me most in awe of him. 

As life goes on and life gets busy I forget to be enamoured with this.  And though I know he's amazing, I definitely don't tell him enough. 

So, I like those moments when I just have to sit back and be re-endeared with him all over again.

Three weeks ago I had Ansen drop some stuff off to one of my clients late at night.  Even though I've worked for this guy for almost 5 years, Ansen had never actually met him.  Ansen went over, got stuck on ice in his driveway, dropped the stuff off and came home.  The next day, my client called and left a message about how much he had enjoyed meeting my husband, what a "stud" he was and how calm and collect he was about the frustrating situation.  

I was grateful for the reminder . . . my husband is a stud. 

And before that - Two months ago while Ansen was looking for a job, I was so grateful that the interview process was pretty much a breeze for Ansen.  People and talking do not make Ansen nervous.  Of course, there were 100's of people qualified for the jobs Ansen applied for since the market is flooded, but the two job offers he did get, he got because they loved Ansen. 

They loved his work, his education and his experience, but they really LOVED Ansen. 

I'm grateful to get to be married to Ansen
and that somehow I had something that he loved about me too 13 1/2 years ago.