Home

Tuesday was my first day home.  Of course along this whole process there will be moments of new realizations  . . . over and over. 

Tuesday was one . . . not the first one, but one.

  That morning Ansen sat me up in bed, moved my legs off the bed, helped me stand up and move into my wheel chair and then pushed me into the middle of the family room.  He put my brakes on so Drew couldn't push me around.  He then went to work cleaning up and getting ready for Kendall and the kids to come home.  He busily moved around and
I just sat there. 

After awhile he came back upstairs and passed by me, noticing I had sad, full eyes he asked what was wrong.  I told him I realized that I was going to have to just sit and look at my Fall decorations for the next 3 months.  Ansen gently told me, we would get it that too as soon as we could. 

It was just a metaphor though . . . I realized that for the next however long, I am going to just sit and just look at things while everyone else around me keeps on moving and working . . .
and for me, that's the worst. 

Lisa did come take down Fall and put up Christmas that night, while Ansen ran errands and Kendall put the kids to bed  . . . lucky to have family.

Luckily

these three had Banna and Branda to keep them busy.  Or maybe it was Banna and Branda had these three to keep them busy.  Either way, everyone was happy.

My mom did finally admit that potty training is not easy.  I started potty training Drew Saturday and got in the accident Monday.  Banna has had to do the rest. 

I remember . . .

And now . . . where do I even start?! 

I woke up, slumped in the car with the paramedics asking me where it hurt and pushing on me everywhere.  We were going to have to wait to have me cut out of the car, but then they figured out a way to pull me out of the passenger door.  I did open my eyes for a brief second and remember watching them take the first cut up the sleeve of my new Costco coat (that I loved) . . . how could they? . . . . there wasn't another way? . . . and then back out. 

I remember them telling me my husband would be there soon and opening my eyes again for a brief second as he stood over me telling me he loved me.  A man behind me stopped, called 911 and then found my cell phone and called Ansen (I actually wondered the other day why I even actually put "ICE" next to Ansen's name, but oh my gosh - thankfully I did) to tell him I was in a serious accident, but I was talking.  Ansen drove like a mad man (seriously . . . the Taurus will apparently go over 120 miler per hour) and got there. He was relieved when he saw the one, whole side of the van, but then walked around to see the other side and started crying. 

I made it to the hospital and was pretty much in and out of consciencness for several hours . . . thankfully.  It made all the hard parts go by faster and left me with very little memory of the details.  I remember them telling me a man was in the waiting room waiting for me.  I assumed it was Ansen, but they told me it was my Dad.  I remember the feelings of comfort that washed over me again as I realized that Ansen and my Dad were now there.

I remember that our neighbor, Mike showed up.  I remember that Ansen, my Dad and Mike gave me a blessing.

I struggled to put together the details of what happened.  In the ambulance they told me I ran into a parked car, which I couldn't make any sense of, but finally in the Cat Scan I remembered there was a ladder  and then finally I did remember running into a parked car.   I remember that I was able to piece together where each of my kids were and that even though they had told me they were safe, I was able to verify it for myself with my own memory.

 I found out I had broken my pelvis in 4 places, broke all the "wings" off the bottom 5 vertebrae of my back, had a collapsed  lung, several broken ribs and internal bleeding around my kidney and adrenal gland.

I remembr most that my husand, my Mom and my Dad sat dutifully by my side all day. 

 I remember knowing that Heavenly Father knew exactly what was going on and he was there too.  He, for some reason, spared my life.

It's bad . . .

but I'm alive and I have been so very, very blessed.

(the only window that wasn 't shattered)

(All of the side airbags went off.  Matt investigating the details of the damage.)

I survived, but had Olivia been with me (see her car seat broken to bits and her chair broken in half among other things) she would not have survived and I'm not sure about Drew either.

More details to come (when I'm up to it) but I was on the freeway, there was ladder going perpendicular to my lane - in my lane, I swerved, I braked, I fishtailed and hit side on into the flat bed truck that was stopped to retrieve the ladder.  

I escaped with relatively minor injuries (but still not good) when you consider what could have been . . .

The scariest moment was when I realized I couldn't remember anything and with my heart hoping for the best,  not even physically capable of imagining the worst, I asked the paramedic if my children had been with me?

I know that Heavenly Father protected me and our family. 

I'm so very grateful for the many, many prayers that have been offered on our behalf.

It really alters your perspective on life. 

Little Suki and Big Suki

Drew was sick last night . . . so naturally I had a bad night.  I was laying in bed holding him and my phone beeped that I had a new e-mail.  Who is up later than me sending e-mails? 

Oh just Jeff . . . in Spain.  And unfortunately I read it right then and then had to lay there wide awake now thinking about my little brother . . . about missions . . . about the gospel of Jesus Christ . . . about how incredibly blessed I am . . . about how much my Heavenly Father knows me and loves me . . . and again back to Jeff and family.

I found these pictures on my Mom's camera from right before Jeff left.  The "photoshoot" made me laugh . . . I didn't want Lisa to miss out on these.

I can fully imagine my Mom talking my brothers into putting on their letterman jackets to pose for a picture. 

This is where I'm sure my Mom told them to look happy.

And I'm split with this one . . .

did my Mom pose them again or did they finally get into it?

Was Ryan jealous of the "T-Wolves" on the back of Jeff's?

Was Jeff showing off?

And then I found the cute, matching BYU slip on shoes she bought them . . . again I think they had to be coerced into another picture "opportunity."

The pumpkins

that never actually happened.

Oh well . . . next year.

Lucky Me

A few days ago I was talking to a friend about our Moms and as I was listing off the kind of things my Mom had done, I realized {again} how blessed I am to have gotten such an amazing Mom.  My Mom was a "stay at home mom" which is a far cry from a "housewife."  She worked really hard and she really, really loved us. 

She kept a clean house and what was even harder and more impressive is she taught us how to keep a clean house, 

she kept the budget - my Dad made the money, but my always Mom made it last,

she sewed lots of our clothes and ALL of my high school dance dresses,

she did homework with me (like my autobiography until 8 am),

she got speeding tickets on the way to piano lessons,

she got me all the way out the door to college when I needed a little prodding,

she was at all of our baseball games . . . magically,

she made up dumb games with chocolate chips so that reading the scriptures would be more fun,

 she punished us when we deserved it,
she made homemade wheatbread and I only ever knew Mom's homemade chocolate chip (or raisen oatmeal) cookies,

she always stayed awake until we got home safe,

she made dinner every night and even lovingly saved our oatmeal for after school snack if we didn't eat it in the morning,

she made the best Halloween costumes,

and she has never let me down

(but I really hope I'm wrong with that last statement because otherwise there's no hope for me as a Mother).

She was always my parent before she was my friend. 

She's still my parent, but now she's mostly only my friend.

Wow, I love my Mom. 

I'm grateful that still after all these years of giving, she still came rushing (even after helping me that morning) to my aide again tonight when she came running in with the string I didn't have for my Relief Society Service Project I was in charge of.  She ran to the store, brought it all the way to me and then had to hurry home to make it to her own Mutual activity . . . just to help me out.

I hope that one day when my children are talking to their friends, they'll have half the good stuff I have to say about my Mom.

Thanks Mom . . . you made all the difference.

Mom: I love you.
Liv: I love you.
Mom: I love you more.
Liv: I love you more . . . I'm just kidding . . . I don't!

Let me document here that when Olivia was 2, it took us an entire week (or more) to get Olivia to accept that she had to give every person in our family a hug and kiss after family prayers.  We had to force it every night with a long drawn out struggle every time to get her to show any of us any affection.  But it worked and she's our biggest, longest hugger now.

Mom: I love you.
Drew: I luv whoo.
Mom: I love you more.
Drew: I luv whoo more.
Mom: No, I love you more.
Drew: Oh.

I haven't tested it lately, but Addison would go back and forth for probably forever.

Continued . . .

Yes, it had to be a 2 post holiday, since I love it and I ran out of time last time.

The ward party was first up.  Drew's make up is half missing due to the struggle and his medal is gone since he ripped it off in the fight.  But by the end of the night he was convinced his cape was cool.



Olivia was a little self conscience about her "boy" costume when we got ready to walk out the door so the helmet didn't last long.  She probably got the most compliments though for going outside the norm.

Then we had the family party.  Here's Drew being scary with his cape.  By this point, he was getting into character and starting to like it, but still some blood was going too far still.



Then the school parties I got to do in both classes.

And the school parade . . .

 Poor Olivia said that as she walked through the rest of the school and into the classrooms, people kept yelling "winner" and "looser" at her because of her costume.  I didn't even think about that . . . poor thing.  But she actually seemed to like the attention luckily.

I had told Olivia that when she saw me that she couldn't get shy and embarrassed and that she better give me the biggest smile ever . . . and she actually listened.

Addison of course, was all about the rules. Luckily, I got a good picture with my one shot since she just kept on walking.

And last, but not least . . . trick or treating. 

Drew ran the whole time, even after his bag was almost pulling him over.

We went with the "eat as much candy as you want, whenever you want until it's gone" approach again this year. 

I never know what to do with all the candy.  Usually I help them pick through and throw out the not as good stuff (non chocolate) . . . but there was hardly any of that stuff this year.

I ended up cleaning some out to save for later every night after they went to bed and no one noticed. 

Happy Halloween 2011!

Halloweeny 2011

It comes, it's hectic and it's gone so fast! 

But I LOVE Halloween, it's my favorite holiday. 



The Costumes:

Addison - She decided on a "Sparkly Witch" this year.  I think that for the most part, it only takes make up, some hair color and glitter spray and she's thrilled with her costume.  She made her own tutu and after 5 different wearings . . . it's pretty thrashed.



Olivia - Originally Olivia wanted to be Ariel, but I was hoping for something different than a princess this year, plus Ariel would probably be cold.  

We got this cute football uniform for Drew and it fit Liv perfectly . . . if only she had some cleats . . . oh what?  she does.  She still wasn't sold.  When we went on our lunch date,  I was trying to talk her into again and then she got a football cookie in her kids' meal . . . it was a sign, right?

Finally, she was sold . . . IF . . . she could have pink make up and sparkles . . . see make up and sparkles fix everything . . . and if she could still have the dress up we bought. 

Drew - Since it's still my choice, I went with Dracula . . . or Drewcula (the girls came up with that one). 

Luckily, we had 3 runs at it.  I had a 30 minute fight for the costume and make up on our first run for the ward party.  Ansen thought that pointing out that it seems like it was more for me than for him would stop me . . . but that's exactly what it was  . . . it's my favorite holiday and they are going to do this for me this once.

By the 3rd run, he was excited about his cape that "flies" and his make up . . . see his "smile" . . . he was happy in the end.

Oh, they're so cute . . .

And here we are being scary . . .

To be continued . . .

The Happenings Part 2

 We finally made it to Addison's 8 year old check up.  She's still in the 90%, which is actually the lowest %she's ever been.  A healthy, happy, smart little 8 year old and for that I'm thankful.

Drew got to tag along on my lunch date with Addison.

And since we were up North anyway, we stopped in by Ansen's work and he got to join too.

(Drew wouldn't let Ansen hold him here . . . he's posing.)

It's weird being down to one home in the mornings again.  I love it though.

Drew helped me make another rainbow cake for Mutual . . . can you tell?  He got to "clean" the beaters in between colors (and then I cleaned them).

Everytime we have some sunshine, I swear it might be the last great day and I send the kids out to soak it in.  Luckily, there's been a few great days more left in the year than I keep thinking.

  

Like I mentioned before . . . we were not gamers until we got a Wii given to us.  And still the only game we own is Just Dance, with no near plans of changing that (except maybe for Just Dance 3).  Addison almost broke 10,000.  It was a large feat and something they were so excited about. 

PS My neighbor told me that there are actually true studies out there showing that GIRLS that play video games occasionally have greater confidence.  Seriously.  Whew . . . I am so glad we got the Wii.

And speaking of Just Dance . . .

This little face has been very effective lately.

He's used this cute face, these big, brown eyes and sweet little voice to convince everyone to take a turn dancing with him almost every day. 

He's even convinced the hardest of hard - Dad.



Gardener Village 2011

We headed up to see the witches over Fall Break at Gardener Village.  Always the perfect amount of craziness with people, parking, kids, strollers and chaos. 

We went with a few neighbor families and got some great weather. 

We did not venture the long lines and went to Chick-Fil-A for lunch. 

When you see all the kids lined up and down the tables eating lunch (and we're only talking 14), I wonder why we even think we can venture out sometimes . . .

The girls.  Notice Olivia's plan for bringing some spending cash that day.  A stretchy headband she used as a necklace with a convenient money holder loop in the front - I guess that was so it wouldn't burn a hole in her pocket.  Surprisingly she didn't spend it and she didn't loose it.  

And the boy. 

There were a few moments I was sure I was going to be the Mom fishing my little boy out of the duck pond, but we missed that life experience . . . thus far.

Picture Day - the before picture

I snagged this picture of Liv on the way out the door for Picture Day.  I am eager to compare this to the "look" that we actually get. 

Before my kids were in school, I would see the all the kids flooding out of the school in the afternoon and wonder why parents didn't care anymore for the appearance of their children. 

They all looked so scraggly all the time . . .

Well first off, there's just not time in the morning  . . . or ever.  I know that now.

And second thing, they probably did send them out the door in decent shape, but something strange and unexplainable happens at school.  They come home looking like rag muffins.  Hair disheveled, food on their face, grungy hands, scuffed up shoes and dirty, unkept clothes.

Some of the stories about recess and this or that explain it, but other times it just remains a mystery.

And let's be honest, Ansen probably wonders this about me when he comes home from work in the evening.