Life Lesson: 2 Million and 21

There are a couple of church callings that I really, really dread the thoughts of.  Obviously, I would never want to be the Relief Society President, but next to that I dreaded Primary Chorister (have you heard me sing?) and Gospel Doctrine teacher. 

So, last April when I came home late one night and Ansen told me to call a member of the bishopric (even though it was late) and he had this look on his face which said, he knew what was up and I wasn't going to love it, I froze. 

I told him if he really, actually loved me, he would tell me what they wanted so I could be prepared to react graciously and maturely.  At first, he would only say that I would probably hate it and then finally, he told me it was Gospel Doctrine teacher.  Turns out that him telling me early did NOT, in any way, help me to "feel grateful for the opportunity" even after I had a moment to "let it sink in". 

Reluctantly, I accepted and left my post as Enrichment leader.  Enrichment leader, you know, where I mingle with the girls, basically plan parties, do crafts and improve the lives of women.  I certainly don't know everything about women, but I know something.  

I felt totally inadequate as a teacher, let alone a teacher of the scriptures.  I have been Gospel Doctrine teacher before (in college) and it was not a pleasant experience then and that was with my peers and a lot of people with little life experience too.

Well, it turns out I'm still not a great teacher, I still don't understand all the scriptures, I still don't have a magic hat of life experiences to pull from for every lesson, I still feel intimidated by the amazing people in my ward, I still get nervous every Sunday, I still make a fool of myself every time and I'm just guessing, but there's a good chance that by this point I've offended someone with some stupid, unfiltered comment during my lesson . . .

BUT

I love my calling! 

I love what I'm learning, I love the comments and input every Sunday, I love that every lesson seems tailored to me and my life, I love Heavenly Father's plan for us and I love the scriptures (more and more)!

I still think, I never want to be Primary Chorister . . .