Tuesday was my first day home. Of course along this whole process there will be moments of new realizations . . . over and over.
Tuesday was one . . . not the first one, but one.
That morning Ansen sat me up in bed, moved my legs off the bed, helped me stand up and move into my wheel chair and then pushed me into the middle of the family room. He put my brakes on so Drew couldn't push me around. He then went to work cleaning up and getting ready for Kendall and the kids to come home. He busily moved around and
I just sat there.
I just sat there.
After awhile he came back upstairs and passed by me, noticing I had sad, full eyes he asked what was wrong. I told him I realized that I was going to have to just sit and look at my Fall decorations for the next 3 months. Ansen gently told me, we would get it that too as soon as we could.
It was just a metaphor though . . . I realized that for the next however long, I am going to just sit and just look at things while everyone else around me keeps on moving and working . . .
and for me, that's the worst.
and for me, that's the worst.
Lisa did come take down Fall and put up Christmas that night, while Ansen ran errands and Kendall put the kids to bed . . . lucky to have family.
3 comments:
Glad you're home! That is so hard to just sit while everyone around you does what you are used to doing. I remember having the same frustrating feelings when I was on bed rest. It seemed most frustrating because in my mind, I felt like I could do things, but knew my body wasn't going to let me. It is such a blessing for you to have your family nearby to help.
Hang in there!
I sure have been thinking about you! I can relate in a small way when it comes to watching your house and everyone around it, with my c-sections. It's really hard watching it "fall apart", sort of. (Love you Taylor, sorry!) lol But I understand.
I'm glad you're home. You have been in my thoughts and prayers, a lot!
Oh my. That might be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. Ansen is SO great to be supportive and help and do his best I'm sure, but the house is your domain. It's hard to have to pass it over. I'm sure you'll get into a rhythm soon.
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