Just Pull it All Together

My friend, Barb, told me that she always says to herself . . . "If I could just pull it all together tomorrow  . . . "  And the the problem is - just what is "it" exactly?

I think she described me (and probably motherhood for the most part) perfectly.  I keep thinking those exact thoughts, but I hadn't gotten to the part where I didn't even realize that I didn't even know what "it" was. 

I'm doing well physically now, I'm progressing and I'm getting around, but I'm just trying to put the pieces of our life together.  I feel like every time I turn around there's a small crisis on our hands . . . my return piles from my summer clothes shopping binge that I just did't have the energy for, insurance and medical bills, school reports, new bank fees on every account since I'm still receiving paper statements, a mess in every square inch of our house, my computer is still in my kitchen on a card table . . .

Oh and everyone needs to eat every single day . . . really?!  3+ times even . . . which means we have to have food in the house so someone has to grocery shop . . .

Okay, so none of them are a crisis, but it just feels like everything is a bit of a mess and if I could just "pull it all together" . . .

The truth is I'll never pull it all together . . . ever.

And maybe there's a few more things I can let go of.  Like this summer I stopped rolling our underwear into pairs.  I just divide his and hers and jam them in their appropriate drawers.  Awesome, right?

But we just keep moving, we keep evaluating and I guess make sure the "it" that I'm pulling all together is my family.